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The AntiFitness Club

I’m ready. Eye of the Tiger is playing in the background. I am sweaty, but not too much. I am rhythmically throwing punches in the air as I make weird sounds with my mouth (and I would totally be wearing my red bandana had I not lost it at that concert in 2011).

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You know what they say: sixth time’s a charm… or something like that.

I have joined the gym five times over a seven year period. Actually, what’s the other way to put it? I have QUIT the gym five times over a seven year period. The math is quite simple. On average, I quit the gym every year and a half. It’s become a kind of hobby, really.

I’m a quitter. I quit. That’s what I do.

I hate exercising. I hate sports. Last time I did sports was June 2007, when I joined a football competition…

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